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Latest Wife and Husband Jokes in English

Share the variety of Latest Wife and Husband Jokes in English with your friends, Husband, Wife on Facebook, WhatsApp, twitter. Whatsapp your loved ones and make the environment Humorous with the following funny jokes on wife and husband. We assure you that you will like these jokes on the husband-wife relationship in English whether it is wife to husband or husband to wife.

Wife to Husband Jokes

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? Does it mean? Without Information, Fighting Every time! WIFE says: No darling, it means:- With Idiot For Ever.

Husband to a newlywed wife! I could go to the end of the world for you Wife: Thanks, but promise me you will stay there for the rest of your life.

The husband said to his newlyweds: “I am happy for your happiness.
Newly married wife – OK, the beginning will be from your checkbook. 🙂 

The wife said – I consider you a true conservative.
Husband asked a pleasant surprise – why? Why did you make such an assumption about me?
Wife – My mom used to say me- you will enjoy a lump of wood like a coward like you.

Husband – (talked to the wife) Was not aware of whose face was this morning that the food of the day was not fortunate?
Wife quote – I think, remove the mirror in the bedroom, or else it will be the same complaint every day.

Veena (from husband Narendra) – You keep nervous overnight and talk while sleeping, let’s get medicine from a doctor
Narendra – There is no need to go to the doctor. If you give me the opportunity to speak in the day, then this disease will be cured by itself of home.

Wife – What were you murmuring in the sleep of Rajarani-Rajrani, after all, who is she?
Husband – Rajlani Oh! This is the same horse that is going to participate in tomorrow’s race.
Wife – Then the same horse called up 2 times yesterday. Don’t try to b smart.

Husband to Wife Jokes

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day. Husband: I too wish that u were newspapers so I could have a new one every day.

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes! Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!

At the time of death, the husband told his wife – after I die, you should marry Ramlal.
The wife asked with surprise – from Ramlal, but he is your biggest enemy.
The husband said – Yes, I want to take revenge from him.

In the market, the wife shopped sari, soap, oil shampoo, cream, cents, powder, etc.
Buying-She ended almost all kept money in her husband pocket.
While visiting home, the wife said to celebrate her husband – how beautiful the moon is today.
Husband in Sarcasm way- If you like it, then buy it too

Husband (with wife) – Things are unbelievable right – People says, the more idiot you are, the more beautiful wife you get.
Wife (happy) – Just-let it be, let me live and do anything other than praise myself.

Jokes on husband-wife relationship

The wife said to her husband – dear! I’m leaving you I have only one prayer for you. If you do the second marriage then do not give my clothes to your new bride.
The husband said in a loving voice – I will look forward to your wish and anyway your clothes will not come accurately to Sweety. (Husband is in hospital these days)

Ramesh – I think my wife is betraying me.
Amit – How?
Ramesh – Last night, when she came late home. I asked him.. as Where were you. She replied. I was with Nazme. Whereas I was with Nazma at that time at her house.

Husband wife romantic jokes

Best husband wife jokes in English

Those who have beautiful wives do not need to remember birthdays because their sister-in-law remembers all.

Wife quotes her husband – At night you were abusing me in the dream and cursing my parents, why?
The husband said – you lie! I did not sleep at that time.

A person came to the panic police station and spoke to the police station – arrest me, sir, I have stuck with a Rod on my wife’s head.
Sho – Is your wife dead with sticks?
Husband – No sir! He is coming back to me with a bigger Rod.

Husband wife argument jokes

Judge (from witness) – When this woman had a fight and argument with her husband, then were you present?
Witness (from the judge) – stood there during the battle in Huzur.
Judge – Well, you want to say something as a witness?
Witness – Dear Sir, that, I will never marry

WhatsApp husband wife jokes

An actress (from her writer husband) – Remember, if You come home today after drinking alcohol then I will self-sacrifice.
Husband – dear! You say this thing every morning, but neither do you fulfill your promise nor do I leave alcohol.

Wife (coming out of the kitchen) – Listen, nowadays I am becoming very beautiful.
Husband – How did you go?
Wife – do not look, nowadays, seeing my beauty, the loaves are also burning.

Husband wife jokes in English for WhatsApp 

A wife reminds her miser husband – Do you listen, will not give some fresh things to my Brother? He has come after a long time
The Miser Husband (by checker) – Why not open the front window, always fresh air comes out of it.

Husband wife birthday jokes

Wife vs Husband jokes

Wife: What is so interesting in me? Husband: I don’t know the meaning of interesting!!!

Husband wife valentine jokes

Husband wife short jokes

The message of the year:- Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!! Why? Very simple? A woman does not have a wife..!!!

When the husband reached home in the morning after the disappearance of the night, the wife said to the anger, now why have you come for seven in the morning?
The husband replied: to have breakfast

Husband wife hilarious jokes

Anjali – listen, please give me a new sari, please, please.
Anil – But your Wardrobe is full of saris, then why new?
Anjali – all those saris have been seen by the people of the Colony.
Anil – Why do we buy saris, better we change the colony

One day Pappu got a call from an unknown number. There was a girl on the phone, who said – Hello, are you a bachelor?
Pappu – Yes, but who are you speaking?
Girl – I am your wife.  Come home – I will tell you today.
After a while, Pappu got a phone call from an unknown number. Again, there was a girl who said – are you married?
Pappu – Yes, but who are you?
Girl – Your girlfriend, cheater!
Pappu – Sorry baby, I thought my wife.
Girl – I am a wife only. You come home I will tell you Today.

Husband Wife Funny Jokes

When a newly married couple reached the hill station to celebrate the honeymoon,
The manager didn’t write the name in the register after seeing the groom.
The bride asked the manager about happiness – is my husband so famous that you do not even need to ask his name?
Manager – In fact this is Goddess, your husband celebrates honeymoon in our hotel every year.

At midnight, the wife took up her husband and said, “Get up early, thieves have come in the house and he is pocketing your pocket.”
The husband said – so what is the need to wake me up in this? This is a mutual affair of both of you.

The wife said to his lawyer husband – When will we take AC, fridge and TV, etc? There are two things in Neighbour’s Sheena House.
The husband, the lawyer, replied with a smile – Wait for a few days. A divorce case i am handling. As soon as she returns home, our home will be settled.

 

Husband-wife jokes download

Husband opened Facebook in the morning. One of his female friends uploaded a sandwich photo and wrote – Come on, all have breakfast.
Happy husband Commented – was a great breakfast. Have fun.
Her wife saw this comment and did not give breakfast to the Husband And four hours later,
The wife asked her husband – Should I cook food, or will you have your lunch as well on Facebook?

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